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Tenacious File Searcher….seeks to fill the voids of personal loss.
Our featured member this week is Jade Melindez, our Arizona Area
Director.
First shying away from the selection as featured
member.. a trademark for Jade…we twisted her arm.
It’s not meant
to embarrass but to honor our greatest treasures….the backbones of the
org. Jade fits that profile and became a member back in the early months
of 2003 after having spent some time in the group as an
observer.
In 1998 her youngest son, Carlos, died. He was born with
Down Syndrome and congenital heart & lung disease. Life with a special
needs child is more than a challenge. But in spite of it all, Jade
realizes she was "blessed to have had this very special little boy in my
life for 14 years." She describes her son as a gentle soul with a cherub
face that smiled at life even in the hardest times.
"He kept me
grounded in ways that I can hardly explain. He taught me lessons in life
that I would have never known otherwise. I came to realize he was an angel
sent from heaven to care for me not the other way around, me caring for
him. When he died on July 24th 1998 my whole world collapsed. I thought at
first that I would surely die from the weight of the overwhelming, gut
wrenching physical and emotional pain. As the long empty days passed I
realized with greater horror that I would not die but instead would live
the rest of my life feeling this horrible sense of emptiness and this deep
gut wrenching pain."
There are many of us here who share a pain.
"The journey of grief is a personal one. In a family it is individually
personal. Every family member is consumed in their own pain and grief."
It’s good to know that her loss was not in vane. As she seeks to fill the
voids in her life….she helps to fill the voids in others lives.
Once her son had passed, Jade felt so vulnerable that it unlocked
a memory from her past. Plagued by nightmares and vague memories of the
murder of her grandfather, an unsolved murder she witnessed as a child.
Jade, no longer having to care for Carlos, found she had some time on her
hands, went online to seek some sort of resolution.
She soon found
the cold
cases discussion group and sought direction from individuals who had
research tips. Jade felt a degree of acceptance like never before as she
had found friends that in some cases were in similar situations. She
immediately became hooked on the Doe Network.
"Just before
Christmas 2003 I received word from law enforcement that another members
match I had sent in was a match. I guess God decided someone would go home
for Christmas. It is a rather mixed blessing when a member makes a match.
On one hand we are sad that a family will get the news they dreaded yet on
the other hand they will no longer deal with the torment of the unknowns
and can provide the memorial service for that loved one that is dignified
and some resolution to the waiting."
For Jade, the Doe Network has
"…been a refuge. A place where I have been able to feel grounded and have
a purpose to fulfill." She proudly admits that she has found "a place that
reminds me everyday that we can do anything together....."
Jade,
thank you for your heart. Your grandfather and son Carlos would be proud
of how you chose to honor their lives by seeking to help others. She
learned that unsolved homicides were not uncommon and that the effects of
an unsolved homicide were "far reaching in the ability to devastate
individuals and families." As we seek to honor you in this profile….your
words honor us as well.
Author: Todd Matthews
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